Pisces: Love Hurts… So Good!

Pisces in Love: First loves Die Hard…with a Vengeance!

Yes, Bruce Willis is a Pisces. It's awesome. Get used to it.
Yes, Bruce Willis is a Pisces. It’s awesome. Get used to it.

Forgets nothing, romanticizes everything – the Pisces man holds a candle for every love interest that has crossed his path– But some more than others…

Ruled by Neptune, Pisces has a lush imagination, and an active fantasy life. This can be both his salvation and his undoing. When looking back on his past partners, he remembers the events and people, but he imbues the past with a powerful tangible nostalgia that yanks on his heartstrings with every musing. The emotions of the past are coloured with ideals of the present, creating a different version of what really happened. Instead of remembering an abusive relationship as painful and grief-stricken, Pisces will look back with melancholy, and a yearning for the power and passion that they once had. He will remember the bad times but feel them as if they were the height of a love affair, and masochistically go back to those times in his mind when he is bored in his current relationship, or when no relationship exists. He will wonder why love has lost its power in his present life, power and meaning that he once grasped, in an inferno of all-consuming passion. In reality, this past relationship was unhealthy, draining, painful, and addictive (as if Pisces’ middle name wasn’t Addiction…) But Pisces is always looking for something more, something to conquer the material plane and vault him into the skies. He is looking for a transcendent experience, a spiritual connection to free him from earthly bonds and commune with All That Is (God, the Universe, the Heavens, etc).

Pisces is forever looking for a permanent solution to the temporary state of altered consciousness.

And because the past is so objective, so malleable and mysterious, he can imagine his past just the same as he would imagine his future. The past is no longer here, and not held to the rigid laws of the Present. One thing about one’s imagination is that it has liberty to alter, embellish, reinvent, or reinterpret everything but the present. The present is governed by perspective, which is built up from experiences in one’s past. This has been demonstrated when two people reminisce over a shared past, and they find themselves in disagreement about various details. Pisces’ current perspective, as well as his notions about his past are all influenced by this phenomenon, and this is the cause of his lack of accurate memory recall in regard to his relationships.

This obviously makes him a romantic, always looking back with nostalgia. But this also causes him to seek out more of what he used to have (or what he thought he used to have) in present relationships. This gets him into quite the pickle, considering what he is searching for is a warped emotional memory – a figment of his imagination. Sad but true, the Pisces may never find that perfect soul relationship if he does not start looking into the future with  fresh new eyes.

So old flames do Die Hard for Pisces, and the memories of each past love are revisited often. Pisces man might even keep in contact with one or two special flames, just so he can call them up and bask in the memories of what has been, and muse about the “what ifs” of the future. The only problem with this is that Pisces likely does not take this musing overly seriously; it’s just a lovely fantasy to indulge in when things are getting mundane. However the old flames might take his words more seriously and this can lead to mixed messages and confusion. Another aspect of holding a candle for past lovers is the Vengeance side mentioned in the heading. Like all water signs, a Pisces never forgets. If he has been slighted, humiliated, hurt, cast aside, or emasculated, he will forever have that chip on his shoulder. It is his duty and his right to feel that way, and his way of taking back control from what was out of his control in the past. He hangs on to grudges, or simply keeps a secret memory store of all those who have wronged him. This allows him to balance out the pain that this person has caused by inflicting intangible evils back on them. That way, he can always keep his status of ‘on top’ or ‘in control’, and his victimhood is rarely discovered. Then again, do we really believe his bluffs? Or do others all too easily see through this defense, to the sensitive creature on the inside.

One thing about fish, their scales have a translucent quality; Can we can see through their veiled surface, or is it an illusion? Blink, and we can lose sight of them, for they are quick and mysterious.



Snuggly Bunny That May Accidentally-Intentionally Bite You

*Cute, innocent giggle slowly erupting into…* CHOMP!

Outspoken non-give-a-damn-er Leo: JLaw!
Outspoken non-give-a-damn-er Leo: JLaw!

Another surprise about Leo is their ability to camouflage themselves into a sweet, more innocent creature. Like a lion laying in wait in the long grasses, Leo  chameleons into a cute inconspicuous fuzzy bunny when luring her prey. This natural behavior may seem to go against the mighty and oblique Leo, but she knows when to use these tactics. Gregarious and fun, cute and sassy, the Leo primes her lover to let down his guard, and then…. POUNCE! Suddenly Leo turns into a clawing biting Sexcat.

Leo keeps most of his sexual power dormant and leashed so as not to overwhelm the village-folk. He sometimes worries it would be too much for most people to handle, and so keeps it reined in until the right time. Leos prize respect and loyalty, and they are definitely not one to push anything on anyone who does not want it. Leos come across as socially dominating, but they are always careful with consent. They hold themselves to a high standard of ethics, and cannot bear to let themselves down in this regard.

The sexual energy of the Leo is fiery and bold, matched only by perhaps an Aries or Scorpio. Ruled by the sun, Leo burns white hot and engulfs his lover in a tidal wave of powerful lust. They tend to be quite physical if not athletic, finding many different positions that are novel and fun.Their exhibitionism can lead them to public sexytimes, and they certainly wouldn’t mind making a video or two. In a lover they need someone inventive and energetic, who they see as hot & sexy. They do after all need to have someone to look at in the mirror above the bed, in the brief moments they aren’t watching themselves! …Yes, Leos get off on watching themselves in the mirror. I kid you not. But do we care while we’re getting some quality Leo action? Nnnnope!

Mane-tossingly-awesome Leo: JLo!
Mane-tossingly-awesome Leo: JLo!

In a more romantic relationship, Leo needs to feel like the Big Boss Snuggle Bunny. Dominant to a fault, she gets much of her self esteem from guiding those under her, and providing a safe haven under her wing. Affectionate and incredibly cuddly, Leos secretly defy their tough exterior in intimate moments. They will love the crap out of you if you let them – holding you close, stroking your hair, and creating a warm nest in the sheets whenever you ask.

Small but obvious point on Leo anger: Leos are fiery as hell and will freak out on your ass. They are usually very pragmatic, until they get hurt. Then you may want to run for the hills unless you’re the fighting kind. But like all fire signs, the eruption of rage is only momentary, and Leos are quick to forgive and forget provided the matter is talked out in a practical and honest way. Honesty will go a LONG way with a lion.

Leo: Feed the Fire or Burn Out

Oops! I’m Self-Involved

Well, to be fair, Leos have a perfectly healthy form of self love called Being Able to Say No. Perhaps surprisingly, Leos are good at self-regulating! They may seem like they’re burning the candle at both ends, or just plain burning out, but ultimately when it’s time to stop (often when there’s no other choice, mind you…), they do! They are very true to themselves, but sometimes at the detriment of others. It’s not selfish in the biblical sense (sure, that’s a thing), but other astro-signs will interpret it thusly. A Virgo would NEVER allow time for herself if it involved letting someone down or cancelling plans or missing out on meticulously planning an acquaintance’s surprise birthday party… but a Leo? If they’re in burn-out mode, you can bet that any phone call from them after you’ve already established plans, is a cancellation. They mean well, they really do, and their loyalty and love for others will make them feel heart-swellingly guilty for missing out on plans. And either they internalize this guilt, thus creating an unconscious pattern of letting people down, or they externalize it by apologizing profusely and making grand exclamations of love and loyalty. Just pat Leo on the head, wait for the purr, and realize it’s simply in their nature… you might as well forgive!

Leos: Letting go of the guilt of thinking you’ve let someone down is the key to maintaining your high level of loyalty. Forgive yourself, know that you’re not superman (or woman), and let go of the bad feelings. We already have!

High-Energy to Burn-Out and Back Again. Repeat ad nauseam.

Like any successful cat-predator, there is a primal blueprint to the Leo’s energy flow: Conserve energy and be as lazy as possible, CHASE GAZELLE AT FULL POWER, recharge. Most of the time when humans are actually witnessing a Leo in the wild, the creature will be at full-speed energy mode. Now, there are gradations to how this manifests in each individual Leo.

1. High Energy: The wired, frazzled, non-stop chatterbox you want to either party with or punch.

2. Moderate: The theatrical & funny, always “on” actor who steals the limelight.

3. Low: These types ebb and flow between a more low-key twinkly-eyed manner, the high energy bubbling under the surface. These Leos will have spurts of their full-power energy in the form of unexpected jokes, demonstrations, or blurting-outs.

For the first two, the lion will need to rest and recuperate after expending this kind of energy. They will need a bit of time alone, away from their pride, to replenish their stores. The 3rd type is constantly in a state of Storage-and-Expenditure, but even these types will need their time alone. Even at ‘low’ Leo energy, their energy is still quite high compared to the rest of us mere mortals.

Leos love gifting the world with their sunny entertaining selves, and their healthy self-love attracts others who believe in their spin. However, a less frenetic zodiac sign like Capricorn or Pisces might get irritated or impatient with these extroverts. Luckily, Leo has the uncanny ability of just saying “MEHHHHH” to anyone or anything that doesn’t go with their flow. On the flip side, Leo might find some people opposing them entirely, which just doesn’t compute. Often, other signs who like attention but don’t know how to go about getting it with the same flair, will get jealous (Scorpio and Aquarius I’m looking at you). But Leo has love and energy to give, and so can encourage these signs to let out their inner Leo Diva. Everybody wins, and a barrel of laughs and monkeys will ensue.

Channel the Fire

Leo needs a focus to their abundant energy or they risk burning themselves with it. They are big creatives and need an outlet for their gifts. While some signs can internalize this energy and keep it private, Leo needs to have an external, physical presence in the world where they can actually see their talent and hard work paying off. If they do not have purpose or intention, the lion can become listless and sullen, not knowing which direction to point their massive potential. Keep your eye on the prize and find something to get excited about! Positivity and good humour are Leo’s best and most natural friends.

Keep that Head Up and Ass Out, you sexy Lion, you!


Lion's Roar
Lion’s Roar

Chest Up / Ass Out

…That pretty much describes all Leos in a nutshell, whether male or female. Leos love being noticed, even if they feign humility when the compliments start rolling in. They exist in a constant state of posturing performance, always assuming people are noticing them, watching them, possibly judging them, or generally thinking that they’re hot stuff. And the fascinating thing is, they ARE hot stuff, regardless of any gifts of beauty or intellect.

They are a prime example of the concept: ‘What You Believe, Becomes Your Reality’. 

Leo unfalteringly believes that he or she is awesome, and so all onlookers follow suit. I remember when I was younger and I frustratingly saw this happen time and again. Leos would prance around proclaiming their greatness to the world. Surely people won’t believe this drivel, I thought. Surely people will see through their airs. BUT NAY. These lions attracted so many followers it made me insane with righteous envy! And you know what, much to my own chagrin, I loved being around them, too. They make you want to believe in them, want to follow them; See, Humanity has this pesky little need to create idols – we need something or someone to put our faith and trust in, someone we see as larger than ourselves, an archetype made flesh.

Need I mention – MADONNA

Oh no she di-innn't
Oh no she di-innn’t

And the Leo will gladly oblige the human race with their presence. These are the types of people who are leaders in what they do (and if they’re not, they’re insufferably grouchy). They have this deep-seated, confident, nonchalance about them that immediately engenders trust and adoration. Where some might wither at the thought of making hard decisions or standing up for their own or other’s rights, the Leo swoops in for the challenge (for it isn’t really a challenge to them at all) and roars her mighty bellow. Magnetic, entertaining, and bold, the Lion paints a colourful picture of themselves for the public to gaze at in awe.

Leo is the scapegoat of the Zodiac for humanity’s need for celebrity

Don’t kid yourself – if you see a leo bashfully accepting a compliment or if you are a Leo and you just *hate* being noticed because somehow you’re an introvert or something… no. Just no. Whether you like it or pretend not to, getting attention feeds your Lion heart and if channeled properly, can be a source of the love you give back to people.

Scorpio: SEXTALK

Let’s talk about Sex.

Scorpios are a wild breed. Independent to a fault, but sexed like a cat in heat, these people keep you at a distance but keep you wanting more.

When a Scorpio is attracted to someone on a primal level, the heat practically oozes from their pants. They keep it all nice and compressed inside, lest it prematurely leak out and ruin the whole event. The buildup is key to the Scorpio, for without it, the physical act is lost in a lackluster jumble of limbs. They can hold it back for weeks, purposefully waiting until the breaking point, at which time the flood gates are open and things happen in a blur of animalistic pleasure overload. I have even heard it described by one Scorpio that they literally get light headed and feel like passing out. Their sexuality and sensuality overloads their senses and lovemaking (or even just making out) takes on a dreamlike quality where time is suspended and reality dissolves into sparkles.

Scorpios also pride themselves on being ‘the best’ in bed. This of course is an illusion, for being the best is just like being perfect – truly unattainable – especially in the realm of love & sex. That doesn’t stop their egos from trying, though. Competitive to a fault, I once knew a Scorpio who practically made it a post-secondary education with how she set about to acquire sexual skills like a Victorian courtesan.

Like an artist, learn the craft and then find your style.

Scorpio: Creepy or Deep?

X-Ray Vision – The Deepest of Seekers

Smoldering under the surface of their eyes, Scorpio’s stare will penetrate you before you’ve even realized it. Suddenly you will find yourself in the presence of an oracle who knows your deepest secrets and your darkest fears. Scorpio will tease it out of you and then smack you in the face with it.

And you will be afraid, but you will like it.

The Scorpio Stare of Joaquin Phoenix: I don't know whether to be turned on or creeped out or both...
The Scorpio Stare of Joaquin Phoenix: I don’t know whether to be turned on or creeped out or both…

Regardless whether they are bat-shit crazy or insanely intuitive, Scorpios delight in frightening their peers with their precise ability to read people. It matters not whether peering into the inner lives of strangers & acquaintances, or close friends & lovers.

The reason they are so damn good at sussing out people is less glamorous. They are afraid of being hurt, abandoned, humiliated, or betrayed. So they learn from a very young age to be a divining rod for emotional undercurrents and hidden motives. Scorpios usually have a less than awesome time in childhood, often living through themes of control and dominace.  One way this shows itself later in life is this uncanny ability to know what you’re thinking and feeling before you do. It’s a form of divination / a fear of the unknown / a kind of self-preservation. If Scorpio can predict behaviors or personalities, there’s a better chance of avoiding trouble later.

The key to healing these fears lies in having courage in the face of pain, and learning to be emotionally independent. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is being able to live a life free from need of other people, so one can be free to want other people. This empowers Scorpio and eventually makes them a solid unshakable rock. And the path through pain involves confronting those icky feelings and wading through it to the other side. “This too shall pass” is a valuable thing to remember when going through the dying phase of the Phoenix life-dance that the Scorpio is destined to repeat.

Lastly, Scorpios love delving deep into someone’s psyche, uprooting their issues, and discovering a beautiful and dark underworld beneath. Their own journey with personal and spiritual growth is vastly important to them and often this can lead them to following the path of a spiritual teacher or mystic. Having gone through a lot of pain in their lives, the Scorpio must come to terms with it, and they do this through finding meaning in it. Being a water sign, and so inherently creative, they find meaning through symbols, omens, art and music. These things help to decode their lives, which can seem chaotic without anchorage in these deeper spiritual truths. Once the Scorpio has given their trials enough meditation, they truly blossom into wise teachers having learned from the archetypal patterns in their lives.

All in all, the sexy, creepy-penetrating gaze of a Scorpio on the hunt entices many, repulses a few, and weeds out the weak ones.

Most of all, a force to be reckoned with.

Scorpio: Contradictions Galore!

One Contradictory Muffin (or Bristling Militant meets Fetal Position Crier)

The ironic thing about the above example of Scorpio’s egomania is the profound sense of inferiority they feel the other 50% of the time.

The bigger the Ego, the weaker the Soul. The stronger the Soul, the weaker the Ego’s grasp.

One way in which the Scorpio puts on an infallible front is via their stony wall of Tougher than Thou. When threatened, the Scorpion, like the Cancer Crab, becomes visibly emotionless, icy, and aloof, surrounded by an impenetrable shell of armor. The Scorpio also has the ability to disassociate very easily, making them excellent in war but challenging in love. Their outer control is impressive and often kinda sexy, making them great Dominants in all areas of their lives. Guarded and cold in an argument, these folks make the BEST friends and the worst enemies. They have an uncanny ability to deliver cutting attacks to their opponents that disarm because it’s based on truth. This of course is a Scorpio in the middle of a fight-or-flight moment, survival of the fittest. Behind closed doors, alone, or around only those they have 100% trust in, these scorpions are actually all gooey and liquidy inside, just like the real animal! That’s why scorpions need an exoskeleton, to keep all their goo from oozing out. And so it is with their human astrological counterparts.

And of course this is where the crying comes in. If the Scorpio ever learns to let out their emotions (which is a lifelong task) they are very emotional, passionate, and empathic. This is in fact why they put up such a tough front – because their empathy has mainly gotten them into trouble up until now. Fearing the un-dodgable agony of any emotion other than elation or lust, the Scorpio shuns the painful emotions. They use either Avoidance (being emotionally unavailable) or a Coping Mechanism of choice to numb out the feels: Dickhead, alcoholic, or both!

When he or she is healthily in touch with all of her emotions, the geyser of tears over-floweth. They are the bearers of the heaviest of hearts and souls, and sometimes the only way to get things out is to violently cry into a pillow. Or punch someone. Or fantasize of homicide.