Scorpio: SEXTALK

Let’s talk about Sex.

Scorpios are a wild breed. Independent to a fault, but sexed like a cat in heat, these people keep you at a distance but keep you wanting more.

When a Scorpio is attracted to someone on a primal level, the heat practically oozes from their pants. They keep it all nice and compressed inside, lest it prematurely leak out and ruin the whole event. The buildup is key to the Scorpio, for without it, the physical act is lost in a lackluster jumble of limbs. They can hold it back for weeks, purposefully waiting until the breaking point, at which time the flood gates are open and things happen in a blur of animalistic pleasure overload. I have even heard it described by one Scorpio that they literally get light headed and feel like passing out. Their sexuality and sensuality overloads their senses and lovemaking (or even just making out) takes on a dreamlike quality where time is suspended and reality dissolves into sparkles.

Scorpios also pride themselves on being ‘the best’ in bed. This of course is an illusion, for being the best is just like being perfect – truly unattainable – especially in the realm of love & sex. That doesn’t stop their egos from trying, though. Competitive to a fault, I once knew a Scorpio who practically made it a post-secondary education with how she set about to acquire sexual skills like a Victorian courtesan.

Like an artist, learn the craft and then find your style.


Scorpio: Creepy or Deep?

X-Ray Vision – The Deepest of Seekers

Smoldering under the surface of their eyes, Scorpio’s stare will penetrate you before you’ve even realized it. Suddenly you will find yourself in the presence of an oracle who knows your deepest secrets and your darkest fears. Scorpio will tease it out of you and then smack you in the face with it.

And you will be afraid, but you will like it.

The Scorpio Stare of Joaquin Phoenix: I don't know whether to be turned on or creeped out or both...
The Scorpio Stare of Joaquin Phoenix: I don’t know whether to be turned on or creeped out or both…

Regardless whether they are bat-shit crazy or insanely intuitive, Scorpios delight in frightening their peers with their precise ability to read people. It matters not whether peering into the inner lives of strangers & acquaintances, or close friends & lovers.

The reason they are so damn good at sussing out people is less glamorous. They are afraid of being hurt, abandoned, humiliated, or betrayed. So they learn from a very young age to be a divining rod for emotional undercurrents and hidden motives. Scorpios usually have a less than awesome time in childhood, often living through themes of control and dominace.  One way this shows itself later in life is this uncanny ability to know what you’re thinking and feeling before you do. It’s a form of divination / a fear of the unknown / a kind of self-preservation. If Scorpio can predict behaviors or personalities, there’s a better chance of avoiding trouble later.

The key to healing these fears lies in having courage in the face of pain, and learning to be emotionally independent. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is being able to live a life free from need of other people, so one can be free to want other people. This empowers Scorpio and eventually makes them a solid unshakable rock. And the path through pain involves confronting those icky feelings and wading through it to the other side. “This too shall pass” is a valuable thing to remember when going through the dying phase of the Phoenix life-dance that the Scorpio is destined to repeat.

Lastly, Scorpios love delving deep into someone’s psyche, uprooting their issues, and discovering a beautiful and dark underworld beneath. Their own journey with personal and spiritual growth is vastly important to them and often this can lead them to following the path of a spiritual teacher or mystic. Having gone through a lot of pain in their lives, the Scorpio must come to terms with it, and they do this through finding meaning in it. Being a water sign, and so inherently creative, they find meaning through symbols, omens, art and music. These things help to decode their lives, which can seem chaotic without anchorage in these deeper spiritual truths. Once the Scorpio has given their trials enough meditation, they truly blossom into wise teachers having learned from the archetypal patterns in their lives.

All in all, the sexy, creepy-penetrating gaze of a Scorpio on the hunt entices many, repulses a few, and weeds out the weak ones.

Most of all, a force to be reckoned with.

Scorpio: Contradictions Galore!

One Contradictory Muffin (or Bristling Militant meets Fetal Position Crier)

The ironic thing about the above example of Scorpio’s egomania is the profound sense of inferiority they feel the other 50% of the time.

The bigger the Ego, the weaker the Soul. The stronger the Soul, the weaker the Ego’s grasp.

One way in which the Scorpio puts on an infallible front is via their stony wall of Tougher than Thou. When threatened, the Scorpion, like the Cancer Crab, becomes visibly emotionless, icy, and aloof, surrounded by an impenetrable shell of armor. The Scorpio also has the ability to disassociate very easily, making them excellent in war but challenging in love. Their outer control is impressive and often kinda sexy, making them great Dominants in all areas of their lives. Guarded and cold in an argument, these folks make the BEST friends and the worst enemies. They have an uncanny ability to deliver cutting attacks to their opponents that disarm because it’s based on truth. This of course is a Scorpio in the middle of a fight-or-flight moment, survival of the fittest. Behind closed doors, alone, or around only those they have 100% trust in, these scorpions are actually all gooey and liquidy inside, just like the real animal! That’s why scorpions need an exoskeleton, to keep all their goo from oozing out. And so it is with their human astrological counterparts.

And of course this is where the crying comes in. If the Scorpio ever learns to let out their emotions (which is a lifelong task) they are very emotional, passionate, and empathic. This is in fact why they put up such a tough front – because their empathy has mainly gotten them into trouble up until now. Fearing the un-dodgable agony of any emotion other than elation or lust, the Scorpio shuns the painful emotions. They use either Avoidance (being emotionally unavailable) or a Coping Mechanism of choice to numb out the feels: Dickhead, alcoholic, or both!

When he or she is healthily in touch with all of her emotions, the geyser of tears over-floweth. They are the bearers of the heaviest of hearts and souls, and sometimes the only way to get things out is to violently cry into a pillow. Or punch someone. Or fantasize of homicide.

Scorpio: Superiority Complex?


“Superiority Complex” meets “…ACTUALLY JUST RIGHT ALL THE TIME”


Lorde is a perfect example of someone who has been criticized for “dissing” many artists in the music industry, but in reality all she is doing is telling the bold, plain TRUTH.

“I’m a feminist and the theme of [Selena Gomez’s] song is, ‘’When you’re ready come and get it from me,'” Lorde explained. “I’m sick of women being portrayed this way.”

Amen, Sistah!! Somehow, the media decided this was ‘slamming’ Gomez and demonized Lorde for being harsh. As a true Scorpio, Lorde is smart, honest, and to the point. No sugar coating and right on the money.

Often enough Scorpios get labelled as being harsh, critical, cruel, judgmental, spiteful, and bitchy. There are plenty of times this is true – when the Scorpio has decided it’s the perfect tactic for the moment. However the majority of the time Scorpios are interpreted very negatively when there is no conscious malice or spite. They purposefully state the honest bare truth, regardless of the feelings of the more sensitive. As far as they’re concerned, the truth has no interest in kindness nor compassion. The truth just IS. And you know what? They’re RIGHT.

There is a slight problem, however, in the forthcoming mentality that arises out of always being right regardless of how many friends you alienate– The Scorpio starts to KNOW they’re right. Once this inevitability hits, the respect one has for the Scorpio dwindles fast. Haughty, arrogant, petulant, or bullying, the self righteous Scorp scuttles into disastrous territory. Among the problems with this attitude, the most prominent include losing all your friends, and being ‘unteachable’.

1. Losing all your friends: It sucks, don’t do it. If you’re the Scorpio, learn what Loyalty means. Ask yourself whether you’re preaching your truth for another’s benefit, or yours. Are you worried you won’t be taken seriously if you don’t deliver scathing critiques all the time? How much is your Ego getting out of always being right? The best therapists withhold some truths until the patient is ready to hear them…

If you’re the Scorpio’s brave friend, you probably already know arrogance is one of their personality defects, and you love them all the same. If you find it too hard to deal with, keep in mind they have huge hearts and really do have the best intentions. Scorpios behave this way to gain self esteem foremost. If you are forgiving, they will return the favor with unwavering loyalty. And you KNOW they can verbally bitchslap your enemies. This comes in handy.

2. Being Unteachable: This has the worst repercussions to the Scorpio himself. If you find your Scorpio-self responding with “I know!” all the time, how are you supposed to grow and expand your knowledge and consciousness? How are you supposed to fulfill your divine birthright of being torn down in spiritual death, and then reborn anew into wisdom?

The moment you can look at yourself in the mirror and say “I don’t know” is the moment you can bet your ass you’re on the right path.