Pisces: 50 Shades Ain’t Got Nothin’

Please Mistress, I want some more….

Having control is not a Pisces strong suit. They hate it. They want to be safe, and they want to do their own thing. The thought of exercising willpower, emotional regulation, and decision-making make their eyes roll into oblivion. Nothing could be more boring. Pisces men love to have the façade of control as a defense mechanism, but underneath it all, they actually crave leadership. They want to finally let go and give in to their secret soul urges, their dark inner demands, and of course their addictions. But if they do, who will control their world while they’re gone?

Power exchange, whether in a romantic relationship, in Kink, or both, is something the Pisces man is drawn to. To be overpowered by someone they respect and idolize feeds their need for fantasy, idealism, loss of control, and interestingly, safety. Pisces is also happiest when in service – especially to a partner; It is fitting that their zodiac sign is that of the rescuer. They get a great deal of self-esteem from giving, helping, and impressing. They need only a little validation and they are satisfied. So for the heterosexual male, acquiring someone akin to a Mistress is the perfect marriage of Domination & Service.

The escape from reality that submission gives a Pisces man is like no other. The fish is allowed to be an animal once again, and his earthly needs are for a moment, forgotten. He hands his life over to his dominatrix woman (this could be a dominant partner, or a real dominatrix), and lets go both emotionally and sexually. The Pisces lover is (sometimes surprisingly) insatiable, especially if he opts for sexual connection over an emotional connection. Often it is easier getting one’s connection needs met through sex, as it does not require so much time, commitment, or emotional investment. Dramatic sexual affairs are the bread and butter of a Piscean love-life. And no where is this more striking than in a kinky liaison with a nameless Mistress. These men have extreme relationships on the down-low, and balance it out with stability in other mundane areas of their lives. If this is not the case, and they become obsessed with the altered state of submission, Pisces man could submerge himself more deeply in that lifestyle and abandon his mundane life altogether. And why not, it’s fun. 🙂

*Whip Crack!*

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Pisces: How to Date Him

The Slippery Fish – How TO and NOT to net a Piscean

When embarking on a new relationship, Pisces may feel ready intellectually – they may go on dates and have fun meeting new people. However when they find someone they really connect with, it’s a whole other ballgame. This jolts the unwitting Pisces into an emotional realm that he thought he’d already past – a deeper connection triggers these emotional memories and blindsides him with anxiety and doubt. Perhaps he was not ready emotionally for a new relationship, and when he finds a partner he feels serious about, he is shocked by his own reaction. To the partner, it seems as though Pisces was all in – and then suddenly they pull back in horror. The partner of course blames themselves, and thinks ‘he’s just not that into you’. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but Pisces needs time and patience to coax out that timid fishy.

Because Pisces is a water sign, and a fish no less, he can be pretty slippery and hard to catch. The key, like with any animal, is to gain his trust through patience and time. Fish should not be cornered, tossed on land out of their comfort zone, or boiled on the stove through intimidation or demands. You cannot control the fish at first, you must let him swim to you. (You can DEFINITELY control a Pisces once you’ve got him, but that’s a story I will get to later…)

Things that will NOT work when courting a Piscean man:

-Calling or texting too frequently

-Any kind of desperation or neediness

-Controlling behavior such as demanding he be on time for things (he will do everything NOT to, trust me…), trying to get him to define the relationship, or attempts to limit his freedom (asking for too much information about where he goes and what he does).

-Aggressive behavior such as arguing, baiting, passive aggression, or manipulation (fairly obvious, I know, but… you never know!)

Things that WILL work when courting a Piscean:

-Showing your vulnerable side

-Inviting him to express his emotions – show safety by practicing non-judgment and active listening

-Expressing your emotional intelligence through knowing thyself

-Patience – Allowing the relationship to unfold slowly and naturally

-Being a great friend!

Pisces: Devoid of Emotion or Secretly Cuddly

The Sentimental Suck vs The Macho Man… Do we really buy it?

DISCLAIMER: There really are a growing number of men out there who are comfortable with their sensitivity. So for these, this next section may not jive. Times are changing! 🙂

We’ve all known men who are sexy, dominant, forthright people with enough balls to call it like it is and ruffle a few feathers. Oh, but then there’s also the ones who try to do that… and well, that’s just not pretty.

So Pisces, do we think you’re Macho? Let’s take a look…

Pisces is the sign of sensitivity, along with Cancer. In men, this often isn’t a happy place to be in, because:

1) society doesn’t condone men being emotional.

2) society hasn’t taught men how to deal with their emotions at all.

3) society pushes men to act assertive, dominant, and dickish.

For some men (Aries I’m looking at you), this stereotyping is more or less doable. These outward-directed (often fire-) signs have an easier time conforming to male societal norms.

My colleague K. Catherwood puts it perfectly:

“Fire signs are in a way just as emotional as the water signs, but they are short-lived emotions which they express immediately, and usually in a combative, aggressive and/or violent way which could be yelling, fighting, or even playing an aggressive sport. A lot of men do filter their emotions through sports because that sort of emotional behavior IS condoned by society, and in fact is considered admirable. But the water signs type of emotion is directed inward, and consists of deeper, longer lasting emotions, and thus it dwells inside. They usually try to express their emotions through sporty things, but find it isn’t enough, and then that’s when they get confused and act out.”

So for the water signs, there is simply no road map to follow. They often turn their backs on their emotional sensitive nature (from being hurt so much in the past), turn up their defenses, and “act” macho. **We see this with Libras, too, for the record. It’s never easy being a man ruled by Venus… it makes for a jumble of contradictions and compulsions in today’s society – quite similar to the water signs’ plight.

But there’s something so obvious about a Beta male posturing as an Alpha. Pisces, there’s nothing wrong with being a Beta. And to some lovely partner of yours, you could still be an Alpha! But there’s no use trying to be something you’re not. We get it – you’re a man. We also get that you’re a super sensitive suck and it’s adorable.

There is something so beautiful about a man who lets his creative, sensual, sensitive nature flourish and come alive unabashedly. This is the wonderful potential in the Pisces man. Their minds are so quick, coming up with new ideas every minute. Whole projects are completed in their minds but few allow their creative impulses to be expressed. If unhealthily dammed, the Fish becomes a mudfish, and wallows around in his own ambivalence. If he has creative and emotional outlets, Pisces’ multitude of ideas come to life in various forms of art, craft, and even construction! This is cliché… but Jesus was a carpenter, and apparently he was a Pisces too. These men love building whether it is literally with wood and nails, or figuratively with communities and social work.

So do we buy Pisces’ persona of in-control cool guy? Probably not. We think you’re cute for being you. And even though you put on a lavish display of machismo,  we still see you as a softie.

And that’s beautiful.

Pisces: Love Hurts… So Good!

Pisces in Love: First loves Die Hard…with a Vengeance!

Yes, Bruce Willis is a Pisces. It's awesome. Get used to it.
Yes, Bruce Willis is a Pisces. It’s awesome. Get used to it.

Forgets nothing, romanticizes everything – the Pisces man holds a candle for every love interest that has crossed his path– But some more than others…

Ruled by Neptune, Pisces has a lush imagination, and an active fantasy life. This can be both his salvation and his undoing. When looking back on his past partners, he remembers the events and people, but he imbues the past with a powerful tangible nostalgia that yanks on his heartstrings with every musing. The emotions of the past are coloured with ideals of the present, creating a different version of what really happened. Instead of remembering an abusive relationship as painful and grief-stricken, Pisces will look back with melancholy, and a yearning for the power and passion that they once had. He will remember the bad times but feel them as if they were the height of a love affair, and masochistically go back to those times in his mind when he is bored in his current relationship, or when no relationship exists. He will wonder why love has lost its power in his present life, power and meaning that he once grasped, in an inferno of all-consuming passion. In reality, this past relationship was unhealthy, draining, painful, and addictive (as if Pisces’ middle name wasn’t Addiction…) But Pisces is always looking for something more, something to conquer the material plane and vault him into the skies. He is looking for a transcendent experience, a spiritual connection to free him from earthly bonds and commune with All That Is (God, the Universe, the Heavens, etc).

Pisces is forever looking for a permanent solution to the temporary state of altered consciousness.

And because the past is so objective, so malleable and mysterious, he can imagine his past just the same as he would imagine his future. The past is no longer here, and not held to the rigid laws of the Present. One thing about one’s imagination is that it has liberty to alter, embellish, reinvent, or reinterpret everything but the present. The present is governed by perspective, which is built up from experiences in one’s past. This has been demonstrated when two people reminisce over a shared past, and they find themselves in disagreement about various details. Pisces’ current perspective, as well as his notions about his past are all influenced by this phenomenon, and this is the cause of his lack of accurate memory recall in regard to his relationships.

This obviously makes him a romantic, always looking back with nostalgia. But this also causes him to seek out more of what he used to have (or what he thought he used to have) in present relationships. This gets him into quite the pickle, considering what he is searching for is a warped emotional memory – a figment of his imagination. Sad but true, the Pisces may never find that perfect soul relationship if he does not start looking into the future with  fresh new eyes.

So old flames do Die Hard for Pisces, and the memories of each past love are revisited often. Pisces man might even keep in contact with one or two special flames, just so he can call them up and bask in the memories of what has been, and muse about the “what ifs” of the future. The only problem with this is that Pisces likely does not take this musing overly seriously; it’s just a lovely fantasy to indulge in when things are getting mundane. However the old flames might take his words more seriously and this can lead to mixed messages and confusion. Another aspect of holding a candle for past lovers is the Vengeance side mentioned in the heading. Like all water signs, a Pisces never forgets. If he has been slighted, humiliated, hurt, cast aside, or emasculated, he will forever have that chip on his shoulder. It is his duty and his right to feel that way, and his way of taking back control from what was out of his control in the past. He hangs on to grudges, or simply keeps a secret memory store of all those who have wronged him. This allows him to balance out the pain that this person has caused by inflicting intangible evils back on them. That way, he can always keep his status of ‘on top’ or ‘in control’, and his victimhood is rarely discovered. Then again, do we really believe his bluffs? Or do others all too easily see through this defense, to the sensitive creature on the inside.

One thing about fish, their scales have a translucent quality; Can we can see through their veiled surface, or is it an illusion? Blink, and we can lose sight of them, for they are quick and mysterious.