The female Libra is one of those people you can’t possibly hate.
…Don’t you just hate that!?
From Prostration to Martyrdom, Libras have it all!
If you’ve ever had a Libra friend or partner, you have experienced their dewy-eyed reverence of your best and worst traits. They are experts at making others feel capable, knowledgeable, and worthy. They constantly neglect their own needs, skills, talents, and yearnings, focusing instead on building up those same things in other people (especially a partner). She will down play her own achievements in order to lift others up. It is because Libra is the sign of partnerships that this is so typical. On one end of the scales, Libra has true integrity, compassion, and empathy. On the other, there is a fear of abandonment; She feels she must always be focusing on the other person in order to keep them around. She needs to feel useful to feel lovable.
Because Libra spends so much time focusing on others over herself, she naturally starts to believe that everything other people do is somehow also related to her. This is a coping strategy for loss of identity (sense of self). Libra finds herself always on the outskirts of importance, something that she herself has created through her compulsion to find self-worth in doing good deeds for others. Inevitably her identity slowly starts to merge with all those she is ‘helping’. And if Libra helps everyone, goes out of her way to be kind and gentle and supportive to the majority of the population within a 100km radius (and she does)… well, this is going to cause her Ego (sense of identity) to merge with all of them, too.
So you see how easy it is for chipper Libra to internalize everyone else’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. She looks outwardly at other people, and sees a mirror for herself. This gives her a sense of security because she feels that others will always be more stable and in control than she. In her mind, she might as well pawn out her soul so that it can reside somewhere safer, where the walls are stronger. The downfall of this mechanism is that she becomes victim to the whims and often nonsensical ups and downs of other people’s lives. One moment she might be praised (indicative of her positive self-worth), the next moment she might receive criticism or (heaven forbid) ambivalence, which she interprets as sheer rejection or total abandonment. Since she is used to living her life through others, she also comes to think she is an expert interpreter and predictor of people. Contrary to what she believes, Libra cannot fully understand the minds and hearts of other people – only herself (and that is a feat in its own right, for anyone!). And so when someone does something out of character, or different from who she thought she was, the glass house falls. There comes a terrible bitter backlash from Libra, a righteous indignation that seethes just under that sweet soft veneer. ‘How could they do this? It doesn’t make sense! That’s just immoral… that’s not something people should be capable of… I thought they were better than that… I have been conned… I have been totally fooled!…’ And it goes on and on, over and over in their heads, burdening their sensitive souls with confusion, existential doubt, and incessant non-specific worrying.
But the reality of the situation is: That’s not something you would do. Aye, there’s the rub. There’s two people in that equation, you and someone else. If Libra learns to separate out her thoughts, feelings and ideals from another person’s, she won’t always be living on this rollercoaster, swooping between intimate love and life threatening betrayal.
Another issue with this flavor of co-dependence is that other people become an extension or representation of herself.
Basically, this is a really weird way of saying Libras are self-centered, but their sense of self is actually placed in other people.
All actions of other people will be interpreted personally: The twitch of a mouth, the sarcasm from a waiter, an innocent joke, a glare from that woman in line at the grocery store… This is a huge problem, clearly, because *spoiler alert!*
It’s not always about you!!
The truth of the matter is, nobody usually realizes how their internal lives are playing out in public through their faces, body language, tone of voice, pupil dialation, etc. Libra, you’re not important enough in the lives of strangers to garner any hostility, resentment, disrespect, or rudeness. Interpreting negative things as being about you, or because of you, is yet another way to feel important in your own life when you’ve given away your own power to others. You know no other way to get your needs met in an environment where you put others first, and often this (as well as other behaviors such as playing the victim or hypochondriasis) is a subconscious plea to balance out the giving and receiving in your life. Libras often give of themselves well past the point of exhaustion, and then become embittered when little acknowledgment is given for the resulting martyrdom.
The crazy thing is, you can totally handle having personal power! You handle other people’s personal power all the time. Granted, it’s safe because it’s not actually your life it’s affecting, but you do it every day. You’re really good at it. It may seem scary, but if you did take back your personal power and implement it into your own life, you’d totally own that sh*t.
SO multi-talented is the Libra woman. She has to be, what with all the diverse people she draws into her sphere. Just think about all the things Libra has done for other people, how she’s adapted to a myriad of situations, all of the stuff she’s figured out how to do through sheer will and determination, just to help someone else…. Now imagine if she utilized those things in her own life! Wow!
You see where I’m going with this.