Astrocomicals!

 – Real Comic Strips Coming Soon! –

1. Aries:

“Leetttt’s f*ckin’ doooo thhiiissss!!!

…OWE my head! Hey! You wanna go, man!?”

-(Said to the low-hanging ceiling corner)

2. Taurus:

“I’m just gonna sit here until the problem goes away. I’m prettttty sure it willlll….”

3. Gemini:

“Ohmygod I have SO many ideas to tell you I’m just exploding! In fact today I blew MY OWN mind!”

Other: “Oh, cool, let’s hear some of them,”

Gemini: “Ooo, shiny! *Skips away*

4. Cancer:

“I hate women! I love women! I hate women! I want ALL women! …*Bursts into tears*

5.  Leo:

“Yeeaaaah, you’re probably gonna wanna watch as I display my AWESOME to everyone in the room.

*Does full-out dance routine ending in jazz-hands*

No big deal. I know everyone’s watching, but I’m used to that.” *shrugs*

6. Virgo:

“I can make an argument for just about anything, and you KNOW I’m right. In fact, I know a bit more about EVERYTHING than you. Now, when does all the sex happen?”

7. Libra:

“Why did that bus driver look at me weird? I was nothing but nice to him. It must be something to do with me as a person. Everyone’s behavior is always related to something about me! But I’m so good and moral and perfect… surely that should force everyone to like me…!” *Flies away on her pink fluffy angel wings singing hymns to Aphrodite*

8. Scorpio:

“LookatmeLookatmeLookatme!!…..

…What are you looking at!?” *Hisssssssss!*”(like a Vampire to the sun)

9. Sagittarius:

“Sorry I didn’t hear what you said… shall I assume we were talking about me?”

Other: “It’s a good thing you’re pretty…” *POUNCE*

10. Capricorn:

“Astrology is bullshit.”

11. Aquarius:

“So you see from my precise calculations that We are all One, and God is Love. Any questions?”

12. Pisces:

“I’m pre-tty sure I’m invisible to all you “normals” out there (sweeps hair back out of eyes in a morose but perfectly executed way), so what happens if I do….

THIS!!!!”

*JUMPS UP AND WAVES HANDS ABOUT FRANTICALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM*

 

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Sagittarius: The Idealistic Cheater

This post was originally written with Venus in Sagittarius combo in mind, but I am finding it is applicable to Sagittarians across the board, whether it’s your Sun, or heavily indicated elsewhere in your natal chart! Enjoy!

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sagarcher

I know, I know…it sounds just awful. However these Sagittarian lovers truly do have only the best intentions at heart.

Galloping on their Centaurian hooves perpetually towards the sunrise, Sag’s are always on the lookout for something new; A new adventure, a conquest to claim, a damsel in distress, a soul mate with whom to merge. Initially, these characters go full throttle – jubilantly diving into a relationship expecting the universe to open up. Promising the moon and the stars, they paint a perfect picture of young love and fiery lust smoldering together in a divine heated passion.

Sagittarians make honest faithful promises of everlasting love in the beginning stages of their relationships, but eventually this passion runs out. If what they were after was a mind-altering quest for true love, usually once they’ve got it, they’re already on to the next sunrise.

While their relationships may not last forever, they are very exciting, enthusiastic, and caring partners.  Their goal is to not be the same person after the relationship as they were before. This learning and growing streak is also extended to their partners, coaxing lovers to new heights of personal growth. And it’s not hard to want to join them in the adventure, these travellers boast a convincing nature and youthful passion not found in many.

Sexually, these people tend to be athletic to the point of being somewhat of a jock in the bedroom. If not physically fit or energetic, their minds at least are oriented towards a masculine sexuality. They enjoy emotional and mental power exchange, such as dominating or being dominated. They also like competition of any kind, and enjoy a partner who challenges them to be their best.

When they are single, the Centaur enjoys the sport of hunting. Because of his or her penchant for the bow and arrow, the Archer sets his eyes on a new love interest like a wolf singling out a deer. Once marked, the object of their affections won’t be far from their thoughts; They are always trying to devise a stealthy plan of attack. On the outside, however, they act gregarious, easy-going, and good-humoured, never letting on that they have an intense smoldering bullseye on you. Underneath their flesh is a tightly wound spring, just waiting to release and pounce in one thrusting motion of capture and ravishment.

The only draw back (or however you might look at it) to this Sign is their wandering eye. Because the sign of Sagittarius is always looking for the next big adventure, they get caught up in the moment with whomever they are around. Add to this an impulsive fiery nature, and you get a beautiful, albeit wild creature, with the capacity for cheating. Rationalizing their carousing by saying to themselves, “You only live once”, “My freedom is my own”, or “I cannot cage my heart”, they feel less responsible for their own actions. The most important thing to them is the moment. Every action is leading up to some idealistic, intense, passionate culmination, whether it be right or wrong. All morals are cast aside as their very souls seem to propel them into that blissful condemning moment of lust and emotion.

After the affair, their high ideals come back to bite them in the ass.

Filled with the growing feeling that they cannot live up to their own high morals and ideals, they often sever the existing relationship to avoid lengthy ethical torment. In this way they are actually rather selfish; Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are willingly putting themselves into situations of heightened emotion and intensity, and sacrificing pre-existing relationships to fulfill their unyielding desires. Rarely do they try the honesty-route in order to patch up their mistakes. But it works just as well for them anyway– they would rather move on and start anew, whether with their new infatuation, or alone on their own adventure.

saghorse

The thing that will keep a Sagittarius faithful is a strong, spontaneous, challenging partner who can keep their attention. Sag’s need their minds and emotions constantly stimulated – which is why they always seek drama and tumult in their love lives. Thusly, their partners need to be sufficiently complex and challenging. The tough part is giving them enough freedom to let them experience their extracurricular emotions so that they do not have to repress and later, enact them. Freedom & adventure is their sport, and the game is always on.

…And nothing is more exhilarating than climbing on the back of a man-horse and riding off into the proverbial sunrise…. you’ll never see the sun set with this jaunty beast.

Xoxox….  Wolf

Epic Astrology Article: Gemini

Get ready. This is a doozy.

"Some people think Geminis are egotistical, but it's a myth." -a Gemini (of course...)

“Some people think Geminis are egotistical, but it’s a myth.” -a Gemini (of course…)

Alright, here it is: The very sign of Gemini, is a myth.

Typical Gemini characteristics: chatty, social butterfly, divided attentions, flirtatious, outgoing, extrovert.

Throw away everything you’ve ever known about Geminis. This. Will. Blow. Your. Mind.

Gemini’s are intrinsically introverted, preferring to chat with themselves and their multiple personalities than with other people. However, the difference is they feel pressure to be outgoing and social. There is a lot of emphasis on extraversion in our society, and Geminis are masters of deception and imagination. Having an inner self-confidence in their abilities to trick and please others, the Gemini flutters into the limelight of social situations. He pushes himself to be who everyone likes. The one place where Geminis lacks self-confidence, ironically, is in his ability to connect with and have validation from other people. Trickery of the mind comes naturally to the mercurial sign, but when it comes to the soul they are on unfamiliar ground. This propels them into all kinds of confusing situations where they are following their minds rather than their hearts or souls. They trick others into thinking they are the life of the party, the loyal confidante, or the hub of gossip – but in reality they are doing all of the things they think will make them irreplaceable in a social group. They often trick themselves into believing their own pitch, which is perhaps the most dangerous territory of all. In being disconnected from themselves at a deep level, Geminis can fall prey to intense confusion and deep inner tension which is a result of constantly going against their true nature and desires to get attention, praise, and social gratification from others. They can also become masters at manipulation, but this can only last for as long as their souls can maintain being caged and ignored inside. Eventually the walls start to crumble when they can no longer keep up a facade. Then the Gemini will need a solid amount of alone time to re coop and soul-search.

Naturally, Geminis are more inclined to introversion. As I said before, their minds are always going on 10 different things in 20 different personalities at any given moment. That is plenty of social time for them, and if they were hermits, they would be well entertained by their own inner monologues. In our society, Geminis flourish by being very adaptive, but internally they are under stress. They are energetic loners deep down, and love anything self-directed where they can be in control of many different aspects of their activity at once.
The Ego:
They say the ego is the strongest when the soul is the weakest. And vice versa. It’s a perfectly reasonable coping mechanism when one is vulnerable deep down inside. The ego comes in to serve and protect the sensitive soul, but this brings with it a problem: This inflated ego exhausts its usefulness when it turns into arrogance, narcissism, stubbornness, elitism, shallowness, and selfishness. These are the Gemini’s dark aspects.

“Don’t compliment me anymore… I might start thinking I can do better than you.”

An example of the Gemini tug-of-war between her ego and her soul.
Geminis are a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for. As an air sign, their energy is very cerebral, ungrounded, and flighty. However deep inside hides a tiny but hyper-concentrated nugget of all of their emotions that they’ve ever had or will have. They rarely access this part of themselves, but it is here that Geminis hold their emotions. They have concentrated it all down into a tiny rock because they are uncomfortable with their own sensitivity. Likely, when they were growing up, they were unarmed against emotional and soul trauma or attack. Through years of abuse, or simply growing up around people who were insensitive or lacked understanding for their young Gemini, these children learned to avoid their hyper sensitivity because they found themselves being hurt constantly. As adults, Geminis are still very sensitive, especially inwardly. Towards other people, the sensitivity rarely comes out because it has been boxed up somewhere inside. That’s why Geminis get such a bad rap for being unemotional, cold, or fickle. Deep down they are nothing of the sort, but rarely do they successfully show it.

When the Gemini has truly accepted himself for all his perceived faults and quirks, he can be full of joie de vivre, energy, and love. Because they are so adaptable, they can take quick changes to plans or feelings and adjust almost immediately. Their aptitude for multi tasking can take shape socially in the form of being able to love and care for many different types of people and friends. When they are regulating their emotions positively, they are able to deal with their intense sensitivity by setting appropriate personal boundaries, and being intimate with loved ones. By giving themselves enough alone time and solo projects to work on, they feed their desire to be introverted, so that when they do reach out to people, they have a full tank of gas to work with. Their abundant energy and mental prowess leads them many places, always collecting new knowledge. The worst thing for these people is getting into a rut and stagnating. Constant change is a natural part of the universe, and no one knows this better than Gemini. However if, in a vain attempt at security and stability, they try to dam the current of change in their lives and go against the natural order in the world, this will also halt the natural flow and energy in themselves. If they can just let go (something that we are taught not to do in this society) they will be happier and more fulfilled than ever.
Ways to relieve inner tumult and tension:
• Take walks (or runs!) in the forest
• Busy your mind and your hands by fixing something or creating something.
• Don’t over think everything. Instead, stop your brain from running in circles over a confusing situation or subject, and move on to something else. This will keep you from exhausting yourself and allow your brain to do some subconscious work on its own. You’ll be amazed at the results of this.
• Have a movie night alone once a week.
• If you’re not comfortable with something …*anything*… say NO. People will respect you for having solid, unwavering boundaries, and your soul will thank you.
Xoxoxo…. The Wolf